Decanted
by Ermingard
Summary: Want to know how Jack Robinson woke up in bed with two wonderfully gorgeous women, no, then might I add two half naked women? Read if you do, if not, then why have you read this far down in the description? Go on read it I can tell you're curious! Set after the Christmas Spesh. P.S. It's not what you expect!


**I freaking love the words snuffed, moobs and expired. You shall find only two (hopefully) in here.**

**P.S. Snuffed it= deceased (which is a wonderful word to say but completely depressing to think of) Also decanted is pretty cool too.  
**

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Jack groaned. He felt like something had crawled into his head and decayed there, taking half his brain with it. He wasn't quite ready to open his eyes as sleep still clung to him the way the insides of his mouth stuck to his tongue. He let out a breath. Lord! It tasted like something had expired in there too. He vaguely felt something tickle his nose and went to swat it away. Only his arm didn't move. He tried again, this time with his left. The sheets slipped from his arm like water.

Wait.

He doesn't have silk sheets. Jack knows this even though he doesn't quite remember his name right now,_ it's Donald or something, right?_ He knows that with his salary it'd mean bread and...well just bread, no water for a month if he was to buy enough silk of this quality for his bed.

He prized one eye open, then thankfully closed it again, it was too dark to make anything out. He felt with his hand until he found the tickley thing. It felt like straw and didn't really smell of anything so he gave it a tug.

Big mistake.

"Aw!" Someone huffed and pinched his arm, fortunately for him said someone had been lying on his arm most of the night so he didn't feel it even when they rolled off it and the feeling began to return, tinging at his elbow before spreading up to his shoulder and down to his finger tips. Unfortunately for him they soon realized this and gave him another hard pinch. Sharp pins and needles exploded in his arm.

"Ouch! Why'd do that?"

"Why did you wake me by tugging at my hair?" Phryne groaned.

"Phryne?" Jack was perplexed.

"What?" She groaned.

"What...I mean, um, am I? Did we?"

"Did we what?"

There was a somewhat awkward pause.

"Uh."

"Oh Jack dear! Did you think that we got drunk and ended up in bed together?" She laughed, shuffling onto her back.

Jack chuckled.

"Of course we did!"

"What!" Jack was suddenly wide awake.

"Jack dear how else do you think you ended up here?"

"Um…"

"My God d'you really not remember?"

The silence and awkward shuffling were enough to answer her question.

"We solved that awful business up in the mountains, then I asked you and Hugh to come around once the culprit was safely locked up."

Jack thought hard and remembered the journey back, Hugh in the passenger seat in the front of the car and Phryne squeezed in between them as they followed Mac driving the beloved Suiza back down the mountain roads. He could remember thinking_ at least Mac drives somewhat slower than Phryne_ as they went over a particularly large bump that left Phryne nearly on his lap and a growing (mind outta the gutter guys) suspicion that they'd left the road. It was hard to tell with the wind tossing the car too and throw and snow covering half the windows.

"Then we all had a nice hot coco to warm us up. And Mr.B opened the bottle of...something that was made in 1877?" Phryne trailed off and thought for a moment before continuing "Jane ran around with that piece of Hemi-parasitic plant of the genus viscum insisting on everyone kissing, we never did get that kiss, did we Jack?"

Jack was lost in the memory of how intense they had looked into each others eyes and that even Aunt Prudence couldn't pretend to not notice. Time had seemed to still in that single moment.

"Jack? Jack, I was just saying how after your third cup of…whatever it was you were drinking by then, we had a selection of some of Mr.B's wonderful cocktails. I think Burt went in for another kiss because shortly after that Aunt.P left, Burt found the whiskey and I sent Jane up to bed. I expect it was all a bit of a blur for you after that." She added, smiling dangerously, then again all her smiles were to be assumed armed and highly explosive. _Get back to the point Robinson why is she looking at you like that? Oh dear, what had he done?_

"I'm so sorry Miss. Fi-"

"Jack dear you were the least of my worries I can assure you. Everyone was a bit…enthralled shall I say. I helped Dot to her room, I don't think she'd even had three glasses bless her, but she was nearly falling asleep on the chair. I tried to send Hugh up to one of the guest rooms but he insisted on the spare servant's room, something about the stairs looking too slippery, I really didn't think he could drive in that state."

Phryne gave a yawn and wiggled to a more comfortable position before continuing.

"Burt and Cec ended up in the guest rooms and Mr.B, I sent to bed before he could find any fountains." She chuckled to herself. "And…who have I missed out?"

"Where was Doctor Mac in of all this?"

"I'm here, trina' get some shut eye." A bundle of ginger fuzz emerged from the sheets the other side of Phryne. She looked like a carpet that had gone horribly wrong.

"What?" She grumbled at Jack's open mouth, then let herself fall face first into the pillow, too tired it seemed to keep her head up.

"Yes, Mac Dear." The ginger fuzz groaned as Phryne gently patted it. "Mac was singing . Awfully loudly." She said the last too words loud enough to cause both parties either side of her to flap a hand at her. They caught her on the arm. Mac not afraid of holding back hurt more than Jack who'd never willingly hurt a lady no matter how loud she was being. Then a thought struck him.

"You drank, did you not?"

"Yes, Sir, I did." Phryne was amused by his sudden upper class vocabulary and elected to join in.

"Well, how come you aren't suffering as badly as we are." Oh, it seemed to be a one off, Jack really can be full of surprises Phryne contemplated.

"Simple, I don't like pain -of any kind- so I know my limits and stick to them."

"You have marv...marvellous self control dear." Mumbled the fuzzy ginger pillow.

"Not really not when I think of the first time you and I found the sister's rum."

"The sisters rum?" Jack wondered about the brand, he'd not heard it before.

"Yes at the finishing school in England, it was awful the caning we never had! I could barely write for weeks. Which, as it turned out, was good because that's how long I was suspended for, Aunt Prudence even wrote a telegram to the school from here, the second she got wind of it."

"Oh hells teeth, Phryne, was it that one they made you read out to the whole school?"

"Mmm." Phryne trailed off, lost in the memories of youth and the unpleasant regime of finishing school. "So anyhow, Mac and I managed to get you up here, undressed and in bed."

Jack lifted the sheets to see he was only wearing his vest and undergarments he quickly pulled the sheets back down as cold air rushed to his nether region . "I thought it was snowing last night?"

"It was so I put on the furnace downstairs and with the three of us in one bed it did seem a little stuffy, indeed it did get even hotter in the night." Phryne trailed off. Thinking of other reasons why the bed might become rather heated. An arm extended from the fuzz and poked her.

"Phryne."

"Mm."

"I'm trying to sleep."

Phryne patted the ball of ginger again.

"The suns coming up." Phryne smiled.

Mac retreated under the sheets again.

Phryne chuckled again and turned to Jack.

"So, about that kiss?"

Jack cleared his throat, then immediately wished he hadn't.

"Now Miss Fisher? I mean um, I'm sure there are other more suitable and far less compromising places." He said aiming his appalling breath elsewhere.

Oh God now he'd done it, she had that look, the one he had in nightmares right before they turned in rather…enjoyable…dreams.

"Scared you won't be able to resist?"

"My self control is-"

"Exemplary, yes I know Jack dear, and by the way, what's wrong with your lips D'you want me to wake Mac up?"

"Don't you dare!" Came the thick Scottish accent, clear even though it was buried under both sheets and pillow.

Phryne rolled onto her side.

"Don't worry Jack there will be no compromising situations unless you want one of course." Phryne raised an eyebrow. (Mac groaned in the background but Jack barely registered it he was lost in Phryne's eyes again.)

She said softly "Don't worry about Mac, she's always like this in the morning but she's always forgiving, no matter what might occur... "

Then with one final groan Mac rolled over taking half the blanket with her and exposing a completely half naked Phryne. The sun's rays were slicing into the room illuminating her pale skin. He couldn't take his eyes away from the curve of her - No stop it Jack!

He forced himself to look up at her eyes again.

"It seems fate isn't on your side."

"On the contrary Miss Fisher perhaps it's a sign, one which I will not ignore."

And with that he kissed her on the nose (he had been aiming for the lips, but a bit of shuffling was required and Jack didn't want to tempt fate by interrupting the moment.)

"Definitely the best noses kiss." Phryne whispered into his neck, it tickled, but it was a good kind of tickle, one which he could definitely live with.

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**There's a possum outside my bedroom making weird noises, oh well if you liked it comment by making possum noises :)  
**

**Oh lovely my Dad's just farted and I can hear my Mum saying amongst the coughing and laughing "You've gassed yourself."**

**Oh the joys of thin walls...**


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